Don’t just sit there
Over the years and because of the miles I’ve traveled, I’ve come in contact with a lot of vicars, priests, elders and pastors. I’ve met selfless, hard working souls who pour out their lives for their churches and communities, and I’ve met lazy ministers who would make a sloth look productive. I’ve bumped into breathtakingly gifted entrepreneurs who would have made millions if they hadn’t chosen their vocation, and others who are ‘in the ministry’ mainly because they can’t do anything else too well, and don’t do ministry that well either. I’ve met servant hearted types whose ideal night out would be to gird up their loins with a towel, grab a bowl and head for a local foot washing, and power hungry bullies who need to be taken behind the bike sheds and shown what bullying really looks and feels like.
I know. I’m biased, because I’m a pastor, and given the choice between engaging with pleasant, encouraging, smiling souls, and those carping critics who make piranhas look like tame goldfish, I’d obviously choose the former. But it’s worth thinking about why we should be nice to the women and men who lead us, for one simple reason: encouragement takes thought and strategy, and shouldn’t just happen because it just happens. Years ago Ian Dury (together with his Blockhead friends) sang about ‘Reasons to be cheerful’. Here are 5 reasons to be nice to your local leader:
They frequently take the blame for God
It’s true: Christian leaders represent God, who is currently invisible, and, at times, seems unavailable, especially when things go horribly wrong in life. When people get angry with God, unfortunately there’s no customer support line to call, and so they frequently take out their frustration on the person they most associate with God, which might be their vicar, pastor, leader or priest. Getting slapped on behalf of the almighty is not a happy experience. If you’re mad with God, include a rant in your prayers, because He can cope, being God. But your local leader is not quite as resilient. If you think they’re thick skinned and can take it on the chin, you’re probably wrong. The reason they got into that vocation is often because they are sensitive souls who genuinely care. And being the vicar, when they get mad with God because God’s people get mad with them, they have no one to slap. Nobody human anyway.
They are required to say some things that they’d prefer not to say
The bible contains some awkward truths, and if your pastor is going to be faithful in preaching it, they’ll have to deal with some tricky passages on sensitive subjects like divorce, war, adultery, sexuality, and, brace yourself for the subject that tends to light the blue touch paper, money. When speaking on these subjects, they are unlikely to please all of the people all of the time, which means they will take some heat. Cool them down with some kindness. When they tackle those controversial issues, they are demonstrating bravery, not bullishness. If they make a statement you disagree with, let it get under your skin, circle your brain, fuel your prayers, and even challenge your heart, before you send that vociferous email. Come to think of it, cancel the vociferous email.
They are often the target for gossip
In some churches, Christians don’t gossip, they share. Under that guise of sharing, ‘Please pray for the pastor, he/she is really struggling right now’, we can give the impression that the pastor is struggling with faith and is now a fully paid up member of the humanist society, struggling with temptation, and has opened their own private harem, or is struggling with anger towards his congregation, and is now a serial killer whose crime pattern is striking during the after-church cup of tea while wearing clerical attire. Gossip destroys people. Don’t pass it on.
They don’t have a hotline to God
Some think that their pastors have a VIP pass to the courts of heaven, and begin each day with a happy little chat with God. They don’t. They too struggle with doubt, unanswered prayer, and when going through wilderness times in their faith, often have to appear more certain than they are, not because they are faking it, but because in is inappropriate for them to dump their own private struggles on their congregation every Sunday. If you sometimes feel that your prayer life is a struggle, know that they frequently feel the same. These days I’m more concerned about those who insist that God and they have interference free conversations than I am about the souls who fear that their connection is patchy at best.
They usually don’t have a cunning plan for world dominion
Okay, there are some wolves out there masquerading as shepherds. There are power hungry, authoritarian clerical control freaks who would be better leading at leading a fascist regime than a local congregation. Spiritual abuse does happen, and it’s very serious indeed. Some leaders do have a well-proven weapon that efficiently silences anyone with a brain cell who asks awkward questions: they just say that these people are being divisive, an excellent device for manipulation and control. But be aware that the vast majority of leaders are ordinary people (God only uses ordinary folk, nothing else is available), who are simply doing their best to respond to a vocational call to help people to discover Jesus.
So go ahead. Make their day, and help them out by being nice. And if we’ve turn into spectators who sit and carp while others around work hard, let’s change our attitude - and our posture.